I planned. I prepared. I left in tears. I know this sounds ridiculous but my tears were because I was being told, “you do not have MS”. These weren’t tears of happiness, or tears of relief. These were deep soul cutting tears. I was so close to it being figured out. Every symptom, every ailment, every behavior now being justified. But now they aren’t. Now I’m still left with this mysterious illness, and my other conditions being unmanageable.
The M.S. Specialist did mention well I do think your current diagnoses of Chronic Lyme, Hashimoto’s, Fibromyalgia, Major Neuro-Cognitive Disorder and Depression are accurate. Well gee thanks, I’m glad you think they are accurate. But what does that do for me?
I have fought this for so long. 8 years is too long! I’m being poisoned by prescriptions that don’t help, forked over thousands for tests and have lost every bit of self confidence, entitlement, security, pride, ownership and more that a person should have. I do get new diagnoses added to my chart every few months tho. Go me! My latest is peeing myself. Ya it’s really fun to be 34 and not knowing what movement or action I do that will force me to change my underwear and pants. I haven’t committed to accepting this new “stress incontinence” label, so I am declining the depends at this time.